This weekend Steven trapped a mole - and I don't mean he unloaded a stricken one from some sort of aperatice - I mean he saw one moving in the dirt and shoveled it out of the ground. Well, being in a house of 3 small boys, before we took the creature to a better home (other than our already mole trenched yard) he had to put it in a box with some leaves and grass at first so that our boys could check it out.
I like it when the kids get opportunities to look at creatures up close - but I always feel bad for the critter we're looking at. They have to be scared, confused and stressed out. Avery LOVES living creatures. He crouched down at that box for such a long time, poking sticks at it (don't worry he wasn't hurting it, well at least not physically), watching how it would react to things, smiling and cooing at it and doing things that he thought was "helping" it - like throwing leaves into the box and giving him grass to "eat." Truth is, my boy knew nothing about moles... didn't know what it needed or what made it tick. His helpfulness was, I'm sure, just adding to it's confusion and stress.
This situation got me to thinkin' - there are some relationships within our lives that make us feel like that mole in the box. Like we're under a magnifying glass, being watched and observed and the observer in turn making random conclusions about what we need, why we act the way we do, why we say the things we say - when really they have no clue what we're like and what we need... They think they know... they've studied a book, or they sit and think about us, analyzing our actions and draw what they feel are logical conclusions, but they haven't taken the time to get to know us. Us moles are basically just trying to be moles. For the most part we are just staying in our element, doing what we know we need to do - not thinking about the folks who might be out there watching us and trying to figure us out. The observer at times think they are helping, or that they are in fact learning more about the creature they are observing - when in truth their efforts are truly minimal, superficial and their perspective all wrong.
This weekend I got myself out of a box. I'm sure I am still in some that I'm not even aware of, but I knew about this one and by golly I stopped trying to make the observer happy and I made the choice to just be a mole... but a freed mole. Which just means that I am no longer going to sit still and let the observer watch what I do, where I go and how I act in order to try to figure me out. I'm instead going to move on and do my thing - not worrying about how they react to it. The heat of that magnifying glass is gone and if any observer ever wants to join me in my element to get to know me better that is so much nicer. *sigh* RELIEF.
So are you in a box? Or are you maybe an observer and don't even realize it? Either way, stop playing the game. Let the mole go and if you want to see what makes them tick get down there with them and get a little dirty - the mole will be more comfortable (it may take awhile, I'm sure that one we caught is still having nightmares about Avery!) but if you lay low for a bit and get into their element everyone involved will be sooooooo much happier!