That's So Jr. High

Sorry to have neglected this blog for so long... and really for the past 6 mos. or so even if I post something, it's not anything of significance - so yeah, I really feel like I've forgotten about it.

There have been many things that have gone on recently... and it takes me longer to mull it all over in my head because 1. My head doesn't work as well as it used to (mom brain times 4... need I say more.) and 2. I rarely get the "down" time that I can just sit and contemplate on stuff. I really like to sort things out and writing helps me to do just that a lot of times... but yeah, I get on the computer and I think "my kids are going to remember me as always being on the computer..." or I hear "Mooo-oooommm, so-and-so is doing this-and-that, and the other." Defeating? Kinda.

It's just not my season for long contemplative posts. But I am going to attempt one here because I really need to think some things through. Bear with me.

I love Chuck Swindoll. He is one of the few radio ministers I can listen to and almost be struck in the face by a teaching or even a simple truth on a repeated basis. He and I click most every time. He has a way of presenting something that makes me want to sit and just chew on it for a bit. Yesterday he did it to me again.

I've been struggling with a multitude of issues lately - many of them beyond my control, many of them effecting people that I dearly love, many of them are things that I can't just sit down and vent about. People are struggling everywhere these days with multitudes of issues on many varying levels of seriousness. It seems that Satan is having way too much fun (and success at times).

So recently I've felt hammered. I've been weary of all of this stuff - and most all of it can be rooted down to one overall theme - selfishness. Yesterday Chuck Swindoll was speaking on the fall of man - that pivotal time in spiritual history when Eve and Adam decided to partake of that forbidden fruit. I've been hearing this message everywhere lately - we are teaching about it in the preschool classes, so I have been preparing many lesson plans based upon it; Isaiah recently has had a few school lessons about salvation and such and these verses have been touched upon there as well. I feel like I have been bombarded with this section of Scripture at the same time I've been bombarded with all of this depressing life stuff.

Well, Chuck Swindoll mentioned the moment that Adam and Eve sinned they saw they were naked - yeah, I know - even if you know the Scriptures marginally you know that they discovered they were naked after they sinned... big deal? But Chuck Swindoll mentioned this verse to point out that it was at that moment that the two became self-conscious... they were no longer God-conscious or others-conscious - they were focused upon themselves and they were ashamed.

So many of these things that I have experienced lately reminds me again and again that "its not about you" - how often could I have helped somebody by simply redirecting my focus? How many times is the other person's offensive or annoying behavior prompted by something that is happening within their lives? It's so much easier to condemn than it is to extend grace. I wish it wasn't -but that's what comes when we are all self-conscious.

I hope that I can reach a point that I can stop and think "I wonder what they are thinking, feeling, or experiencing right now..." instead of simply writing them off as being offensive to me. It will take time and it will take effort, but I really know that I will enjoy life so much more if I could just refocus!

So there you have it, my ramblings are as deep as they can get at this point in time. I'm tired now. :)

Today...

our Lillie turns 2! Happy birthday to our beautiful Lillie. We love you dearly - (the boys are wrapped around your finger!)... and can you blame them? How could you say no to a face like this...

I'm Looking for Cures.

Any cures for bad dreams? Avery was "up" all. night. - screaming, yelling, fussing, being irritated in general which made for a really long yet short night for me. The worst part of it all is that he's loud, compulsive and a little obnoxious this morning and quite full of energy. I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with this bundle of craziness when my own tank is on E.

Any cures for selfish attitudes? Isaiah is still struggling with accepting discipline, acting upon constructive criticism and other overall coping skills. It's quite frustrating. Nothing is ever good enough and we must stew and pout about it. *sigh*

Any cures for accident-prone goofiness? Huston will climb on furniture, run recklessly through the house, frequently slip in his sock feet and hurt himself in unpredictable and frustrating ways. 95% of these incidents could have been prevented if he would just. calm. down.

Any cures for the "no" phase? Lillie loves the word no.

I think one cure for my mental health today will involve a mandatory rest time (early rest time) a fountain coke and junk food. I know, I know it's not the best plan, it's not a healthy plan, but I'm not in the mood to hear about it right now... in fact, I'm too busy making my children miserable.

But Wait... It's Been 8 Years!

Eight years of kids and 8 years of naptime... could it be possible that this lovely phase of motherhood is really coming to an end? Lillie refused her nap today. *sigh* I tell you, it must only be the beginning of the end.

When I was pregnant with Isaiah, a good number of seasoned veterans offered their litney of advice, through most of it I just smiled and nodded then did what I wanted to do anyway... but when a mom told me to "nap when he naps," I thought "Sure! No problem... that's one thing that I could do well." I gladly followed that advice until I've become so totally dependant upon that afternoon "rest" that functioning without it seems impossible.

Really, it's more than a nap, it's a little escape within the day. A time when all older siblings must be quiet while the younger ones check-out for an hour or two... a time when I can rest my mind as well as my eyes. What will I do without it?

Yes, I know that I will still enforce "quiet times" but they are just not the same. There will still be chattering and needs that must be met and interruptions that will frustrate. I may just need to invent a "let's just get out of the house" time instead. A change of scenery does wonders for a ho-hum day.

There are bright sides to this I suppose - no more having to work everything around the afternoon nap time - we can pick up and go wherever, whenever.... but still it's the end of an era... one that I may not be ready to let go of.

Well, I'm sure today was a little flukey, I mean she is still pretty young. I may have a year or so of the nap time still ahead of me. One can hope.

Hello!

Sorry to have left you with that last (and rather unsavory) post for so long. Our poor old pc picked up a virus this past month and has gotten progressively worse until at last all things google related are unreachable... including the dashboard of my blog.... and my email.... and my reader... and the search engine. Stink.

So here I sit, in my office at church, quickly scrambling to get something on here so that at least you don't have to keep coming back to read about Avery's bowels. :) (By the way, he is getting soooo much better in that area - and is doing it all drug free thankfully).

Our pc picked up the virus about the same time as everyone else in our family... well everyone minus two. Steven never gets sick, which is fine with me because he is such a cat when he does. He just curls up in a corner and closes himself off from all of the world... but I'm getting off the subject. Huston also dodged this bullet (hopefully) but the rest of us has had a turn with a lovely stomach bug that hits you out of nowhere, makes you think you're about to die and then leaves as quickly as it came.

We've managed to string it along over about a 2 week time frame but everyone seems to be back on their feet now. Today, the kids are at Grandma's - I think it has been awhile since she's had all four of them, but truthfully I don't know because I can't even remember what I ate for dinner last night.

But while the kids have been away I have been greatly reorganizing and documenting the home school stuff (and reminding myself over and over again how much easier it would be if I would not procrastinate with these things.... ummm yeah, you'd think I'd learn.)

I have determined to be better in a lot of areas ahead - here's hoping that I can follow through. I'm not necessarily setting grandiose goals in front of me... I just want to be better than I am now. Baby steps, baby steps.

As for now I will enjoy the quiet. Listen...

No stomping.

No yelling.

No whining.

No running.

No hopping up and down.

No sliding across the floor.

No annoying little noises from 4 different mouths.

No kicking.

No toy throwing.

But... no laughter... no stories... no content play times....

Yep. I'm missin' the kids.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

No, I'm not a medical professional. This post has nothing to do with the official diagnosis and/or treatment of the legitimate form of irritable bowel syndrome (and for that, we all breathe a huge sigh of relief.) In fact this post will address a new phenomenon we are experiencing in our household... one that is not too icky to discuss but is causing a pretty good sized paradigm shift in the dynamics of home life. (and will also proves that I am never satisfied.)

(cue the menacing music)

Avery and the potty...

I hear you sighing already - trust me, I'm not going to go into great detail here. I'm tired of talking about this just as much as you are tired of hearing about it... But, there has been a change and who knew that I would reach a day when I would actually be wishing that Avery wasn't potty trained.

So here's the deal. Avery doesn't poo in his pants anymore and for that we are eternally grateful, really. But he still doesn't enjoy the potty experience... so what's left is a very irritable Avery that puts off going potty as long as he can.

He really reaches a point where he is not fun to deal with - I think it was easier for us if he would just go off somewhere and do his business in his pants! Yes I was tired of cleaning up after him, but if I knew that it was a trade off for a very cantankerous Avery I would have chosen the dirty pants (I think.)

That's where we're at - the boy hasn't made a mess in his pants for about a week now... but you better stay on the right side of him when he's uncomfortable and full! I think I will be trying some MiraLAX to see if that will soften him up a bit, if ya know what I mean.

Even His Dog is a Melancholy...

That is a line from a VeggieTales, I can't take credit for it, but I do think of it every time I run across this attitude from Isaiah.

I can't stand it. Really I can't. The boy is so mopey and sulen and sad and keeps throwing himself the biggest self-pity party that I can tolerate all because I want him to do schoolwork. That's it. The boy's life is ruined because I am expecting him to preform at a second grade level. It stinks... and is the number one reason I think about quitting the homeschooling stuff.

Don't worry, I'm not quitting. But I must admit I threaten to. I shouldn't, but I do. There are tooooo many other reasons why we have chosen this path. I won't throw it all out because my 8 year old decides to be down-in-the-dumps about learning. I am sure it's probably a phase... I'm hoping that it most definitely is a phase. And I am trying my very hardest to address the issue calmly and with the right frame of mind, but grrrrr, this makes me so crazy.

Seriously though, I am calming down now, I will stop ranting.

Isaiah is naturally a rather pessimistic type person... instead of focusing on all he does get to do he always, always notices what he's missing out on. If he stays 3 nights at grandma's house, but doesn't get to go eat at Burger King, he's going to pout about missing out on that greasy hamburger. It's a constant battle. Now I know everyone has a propensity to do this to some degree... it's a very human characteristic. But it can drive me crazy.

I must do it to some degree, because I'm sure that's why it bothers me so.

So for the past week or so this has been the pattern... if he's able to do what he wants and play all day in the snow he's as happy as a lark for the most part... but if I ask him to stop for a moment to do some lessons, his face totally becomes downfallen and he sulks, majorly. I just want to shake him. I wish I knew how to respond to it properly and effectively. I just get put out... and I feel like it will damage our relationship. I'm hoping the book I'm reading will give me some ideas... but I'm totally just going to have to bathe it all in prayer.

Kids are so stinkin' hard.

On Lillie's Trail...

So, yes I was cleaning in the boys' room and came out to discover a trail of cherrios on the floor... the movie will help you to draw conclusions as to what happened. Lillie is the perp.

I don't think that's what Wal-Mart meant by a "great value"...

Honking Hysterically

Today, the kids and I all went to the church - I had a meeting in the morning and then we stuck around so that I could get some work done in the afternoon. When we were leaving at 2:00pm, I knew that Lillie (and possibly Avery) would not make the entire car ride home in an alert state of being. They always fall asleep in the van and it's a good half hour to our home now so there is no keeping them awake.

So I'm always left with a dilemma when we pull into the garage. Do I try to wake them and just view that 20-30 minutes as their nap for the day?... do I try to carry them up the stairs and strip them of their coat and shoes to lay them down in their beds and hope that they are convinced to stay and nap longer?... or do I leave them sleeping in the van and check on the periodically to bring them upstairs when the wake up? Those are my options and none of them are very good.

Option #1 - the kids are bears when they don't get their nap and they make life difficult for the rest of the family many times. And then to pile on the complexity of the decision-making, both Avery and Lillie refused their nap yesterday... so not only were they very tired, but they would have been extremely grumpy if they woke too early.

Option #2 - not only is this option a pain (and not just because I would have to carry them up a very nice flight of stairs), but it is rarely successful - both of them usually wake up... Lillie will refuse to try to go back to sleep in her bed and Avery will pitch a fit because he was awakened early. So the outcome is very similar to the down-side of option #1.

Option #3 - I've done this before once or twice in the past and it is rather successful, in that they stay asleep. But it's usually somewhat traumatic for them to wake up and realize they are still in the van and everyone else is gone. Plus I'm constantly having to check on them and every little sound I hear makes me wonder if it's them waking up or upset... so I don't usually get much accomplished.

Well today I chose door #3. I figured they are tired, I didn't want to risk waking them and the garage isn't that far away.. "I will be able to hear them," I thought.

I was washing the dishes about half an hour after making this decision and all of a sudden I hear my van's horn repeatedly honking. I run down the stairs with my wet, soapy hands and I see my 4 year old with eyes as big as saucers hysterically honking the horn. I opened the door that I had left cracked and grabbed him and he repeated over and over again, "Mommy, I lost you!" And of course the commotion of this moment totally freaked Lillie out as well.

So the "mother of the year" award has once again slipped through my fingers and I'm fairly confident that option #3 will not be visited again in the very near future. I don't believe Avery and Lillie are scarred permanently because of this incident. I sat them down to watch the movie Nemo after it happened.... hmmmm... in retrospect a movie about a kid becoming separated by half an ocean from his father may not have been the best movie to choose... oh well, both stories end happily ever after.

The Last Name Doesn't Help...

We survived the other day (see previous post) - all of us, fully intact even... and we enjoyed some early bedtimes to boot.

Today is a clean house/school catch-up day, but I'm not motivated to do either. Thankfully Isaiah is really determined to become a better speller today. He gets frustrated when he writes something and every couple of words go under my *scrutiny* and then has to be rewritten. He was in tears about it last night... sobbing that "all his friends can spell" - really? - they, as second graders can spell? Hmmmm.... (and I also find it funny that one of his first episodes of "but everyone else is doing it" is over spelling!)

But hey, if this is what motivates him to learn it, that's fine! I gave him a list of very commonly misspelled for him... all of the question words mostly... his "why" is usually "wie" - "what" is "wut" - "was" is "wus" - yeah, you get the picture.

So we are going to tackle that list along with a review of the silent "e" - because that boy wants to stick an "e" aftere. everye. worde.

Yeah, to answer the long pondered question I am sure you all have had.... no, a "Spellman" doesn't automatically know how to spell...