Make New Friends, and Keep the Old

I hated that song when I was in Brownies (I never made it to Girl Scouts... I'm a Brownie drop-out).

I don't hate the lyrics necessarily - they pretty much hold true... but the tune was grating... in fact my mind is driving me nuts as I type.

I mentioned in this post a while back that friendships go through seasons... I want to elaborate on a few things... I'm afraid that my drift was not fully caught.

First of all let me say that I am sometimes lulled into thinking that this blog is a "safe" place - meaning it's a place where I can freely say what's on my mind without hurting, bothering, upsetting, ticking off any other person.  I rarely receive comments - which is perfectly fine with me... too much pressure otherwise, I think.  But the comments I do receive are usually from good friends that are out of town so I will many times assume that anonymity is present and that is not necessarily the case.

That said, I'm pretty confident I goofed with that post and I want to try to clarify and make things right in this post.

Ok.  Concerning the post in question I mentioned that I had felt that I was entering a time of confusion within a certain relationship... that maybe things were taking a turn, changing into a different season.  I know that this is bound to happen with any friendship.  In fact, if it doesn't happen then we might want to be concerned, because it might be a sign there is a void of progression within our character development and our lives.

I am not one that enjoys change immensely - in certain areas - like changing my living room layout or the colors of my walls or the regular routine - I'm as happy as a clam.  Change my comfort zone or my sweet spot when it comes to relationships??  I start to panic a bit.  That former post was me in panic mode.

I hope that all people form new friendships and find who they need in the season they are in.  I would not wish any friend of mine to stay strictly my friend or be who I want them to be instead of who they were created to be.  That would stink and I wouldn't be a very good friend then.  At all.  I wouldn't like myself.

This particular post stemmed from me simply wondering what was next, what was on the horizon.  I didn't want anyone to feel judged or at fault or be upset with me because I am being selfish.  I hope that those things didn't happen (but I'm kinda worried they did).  I'm a firm believer that God has folks cross your paths at just the point that you need them.  I simply was wondering if one particular friend's path was turning away from my own.  Not judging them for taking that path, but lamenting that I wasn't ready for it to happen... and confused as to just what was happening??

I love all my friends dearly, and would hold onto them for as long as I possibly can.  I am confident now that this particular friends ship isn't dissolving... and I would hold no animosity if it had to... I was just fearful of the change.  And wasn't ready for it if that's the way it had to be.

So all this confusion and rattling on to simply say treasure your friendships, but don't hold on to anyone too tightly - God may have a plan for them somewhere else... and that's ok.  Enjoy every moment you have, and trust God that He has a plan for you too.  When I wrote that cryptic post, I think I should have been trusting more than typing. 

Now go over here and meet my "old" (meaning I've known her a long time, not that we're old) friend RK and her beautiful family, cuz this post is all about 31 for 21.

Just Keep Movin'...

This post is part of the 31 for 21 effort.  Go meet some great families with extra special kids here...

I think the title has become my new motto.  There are many times in my day-to-day that I feel overwhelmed by things:  housework (I really am constantly amazed at how very quickly we can destroy a clean house, I think we're faster than a tornado...), deadlines (I've got a huge stack of to-dos... and yeah, I'm not doin' much), parenting (these kids throw me for a loop nearly every day...) - you know, *little* stuff like that.

I will admit that when things get tough, I often times just wanna take a nap.  I don't feel motivated to start on something that at times feels impossible.  This feeling of inadequacy can spill over into the intangible as well... keeping relationships healthy, feeding myself spiritually, healthy lifestyles - again, all those *little* things.  Once I begin to feel like I'm failing, or that my efforts are in vain, most every ounce of my being is shouting at me to stop.  If I give into that feeling and go sit and veg, or I ignore the elephant in the room, the problem doesn't go away and I just compound upon my feeling of inadequacy...

BUT

if I just get off my hind end and chip at things a bit at a time - just keep moving, just keep falling forward - I find that even if the task doesn't get completed I feel better about myself for just having started.  And the better I feel the more I get done.  I know!  Shocking, isn't it. *wink*

So that is my encouragement to you today - I'm right there with ya on some things, and admittedly my problems may be nothing compared to yours in other areas - but keep chipping away at them, don't dwell on the negative and make it bigger than it really is (those negative feelings have a way of growing inside your mind... objects in your mind are smaller than they appear). 

Believe it or not, in my family of six, no matter how huge the pile of dishes are in the sink and on the counter tops, it rarely takes me longer than 30 minutes to get it all cleaned up.  30 minutes.  How many problems are we avoiding because we keep telling ourselves that it's too complicated and will take too much time and effort when in actuality it would only be the tiniest blip of our lifetime.

So just keep movin' - I will too.

And So it Begins...

Grab This Button

This year I'm gonna try to help RK and her gang of friends raise awareness for Downs Syndrome by participating in the 31 for 21 blog everyday extravaganza.  Let me warn you right now that you will be very tired of hearing from me by the end of this month... so maybe you'd like to head over here and check out some other bloggers that are doing the same thing.


I don't have a child or close family member with DS.  I don't live with it day in and day out like so many moms do, so my perspective is very narrow.  I will say that I have met a few moms of ds kids through RK's blog and what a great group of ladies that have been given a special gift wrapped up in the package of their extra special kids.  So while I can't offer you lots of wonderful information to help someone through this journey or to educate you on the needs and hurdles that these kids may need to overcome, I can let you know that choosing life and valuing everyone is a foundational aspect of our society.  I can also be that stepping stone for folks that may be needing to find a ds community.  Whatever my role here, I'm ready... and I hope you're ready to get a post from me every.day. in October.  I pity you already.

Quick Recap...

I originally sat down to do a long, tedius  thought-provoking post about how our day went today, but I just don't have the energy to get the job done.  So you get the recap bullet style.  (My boys would be so proud that I'm taking the ammunition approach...)

• 7:38 am - cranky younger kids from the word go.... everything dramatic, everything terrible... mom sends them outside to preserve her sanity.
• 8:12 am - feed all children pancakes... supposedly stick to your ribs filling... older boys bummed with me because I'm not liking their attitudes (think a small dose of teenagerhood mixed with a larger dose of little kid "it's not fair")
• 8:42 am - all children "huuuuungggrrrryyyyy, moooooooommmm" all children reminded that they were fed and denied food - sent outside.
• 9:22 am - too many fits outside.  Lillie is brought in and placed in front of a movie.  Older boys are brought in and sequestered to their rooms to do homework.... I tackle the piles err... mountains of clothes in the living room to sort for the changing of seasons - out with the summer, in with the fall/winter.  bleh.  I hate that job.
• 11:27 am - break time - older boys and younger children are sent outside to run and goof off... I'm still dealing with attitudes and clothes.  grrr.
• 11:41 am - Lillie is brought in crying.  *rolling of eyes* but then realize she is legitimately hurt.  Has been stung on her thumb which is now growing to twice it's normal size.  Call to Gran made.  Benedryl, ice, and After Bite medication administered... back in front of the electronic babysitter she goes... back to the excess clothing I go.
• 12:14 pm - kids are speed dressing through piles of clothes to see which fit.  Isaiah assigned the duty of running acceptable clothing to appropriate rooms and I bundle up the unneeded, out-grown, overused clothes to deliver to designated areas.
• 12:48 pm - all pile into the van to get lunch and deliver unneeded, out-grown, overused clothes.
• 1:24 pm - arrive at grandmas to deliver one bundle.  Visit for a few minutes.  Head to church.
• 2:17 pm - arrive at church to deliver bundle of unwanted shoes to the shoe donation program.  While there Avery sustains injury at playground.  Deep, disgusting gash above right eye.  Urgent care needed.  Grandad on his way to help.  Gran takes the rest of kids for the afternoon.
• 2:52 pm - arrive at urgent care where the waiting area is filled with folks, none of them with ailments that seem very urgent.
• 5:37 pm - leave Urgent care.... Avery now has 6 stitches.  Took 4 adults to hold him down and get the job done.  He's exhausted, I'm exhausted.
• 6:03 pm - on the way home.  Avery receives a Sonic Cream Slush to help soothe the pain,  which makes Lillie terribly jealous and begins screaming for Gran and Grandad to right the injustice (doesn't matter that they are no where near her at the time to hear her cries for help), and Isaiah is pricked to the heart that he in fact intentionally threw the piece of plastic at Avery's head that caused his forehead to bust open all because he was frustrated that Avery kept throwing gravel at him and Huston on the playground.  He confesses, he's forgiven and all is well.

Very thankful that my parents were there to help me through this afternoon adventure - seriously don't know how this list would look (or if I'd be alive to type it) if I had to take all 4 of my kids to Urgent care for 3 hours to watch their brother fight against getting stitches.

Also thankful that my mother-in-law is coming tomorrow to watch the kids so that I can recoop from a day like today - I'm really hoping this kinda day won't be repeated for a really, really long time.  I will leave you with a picture of my *brave* boy... high on cream slush and motrin :)

Oh Avery...

Today my mom watched my two youngest for a little bit while I took the older kids to a drs. appointment (that we ended up rescheduling because they were backed up til Christmas.... or at least way past our appointment time.)

Anyhoo.  My mom took the little ones with her to Wal-Mart to get a few things and to pick up my grandma's prescriptions.  My kids call my grandma G.G. - it's short for great-grandma.  Mom told me later when we hooked up for lunch that she had mentioned to Avery that they needed to pick up G.G's prescriptions and Avery responded something like, "Yeah G.G. needs her medicine so she doesn't get sick.... or old.... we better hurry!"

Gotta love kids.

Ponderings

I've been mulling over quite a few things in my head, but obviously not writing them down too quickly... I will list the main ideas below in no particular order or coherency:

1. The D6 conference was really good, very much a blessing and brought greater focus not only to my ministry, but more importantly, to my parenting. And after every Spiritual high, reality must come crashing in - and boy has it done just that over the past few days - but being aware that it's coming helps me to deal with it a bit better. I don't always act the way I want to for sure. But thankfully that's where grace comes in.

2. I have some really wonderful lessons that I have taken away from the conference but thus far I have no audience with which to share these nuggets of truth. That is one of the most frustrating aspects of learning more about building faith at home - it's supposed to happen at home, and I'm only a member of one household. I've been trying to find some sort of avenue to share this important information to parents but I keep meeting roadblocks. So be prepared internet - you may become my outlet. We'll see.

3. Seasons of friendship are so confusing. When a friend you were pretty close with and (seemingly) encouraged through many of life's ups and downs finds someone else they quite prefer to be with, it can really cause a season of doubt, loneliness, and frustration. I know that God puts people in our paths for certain seasons and it's very rare that you find that one close friend that will last your entire lifetime, but I've always wished for that type of friendship. I'm currently experiencing a transition I do believe... one that I'm not necessarily ready for, but I will trust it will work out for the best. It's just harder when you're not quite sure what is going on...

4. Life is better without distractions. I've scaled back quite a bit on the kid's toys and movie time. When they need something to do we pull out some sort of school work or they go outside to run off the energy. It's helping to get the job done. It's helping with attitudes. It's helping to ease the stress level. I'm glad something is moving in the right direction (I hope).

5. I hate it when I feel intimidated as a mom. I know there are no real-life super moms out there. I keep telling myself that everyone has their struggles whether I see them or not. I confess, I rationalize away their good behavior... because most everytime I see really well behaved families I've most always noticed that either 1. they have like 2 kids... 2. half or a majority of their brood are girls... and 3. they seem to go everywhere I go just to taunt me. I realize I'm choosing to compare apples to oranges and that's never really good to do - but it's hard to deal day in and day out with all our family warts but see these "we've got it all together" families and not feel some level of.... ummm.... resentment. Then I feel ugly and guilty for not only wishing to drag others down, but for not championing my own family. Yeah, it's pathetic. I'm a let it all hang out there kind of mom. We don't have it together and frankly I don't want people to look at us and think that we do. Strength only comes through the struggle right? That's what I keep telling myself anyway. Don't worry. I wouldn't trade my family for anything... no matter how perfect other families seem in public. (Although, in the future, I would like to avoid Avery turning to Huston and declaring very loudly while walking through the grocery store, "Huston! did you see that man's big belly??")

The next post will be about the kids... I promise.

D6.... Hit.

No, I'm not playing Battleship.

Tomorrow morning I'm heading out with a gal from the office to Dallas, TX where I will attending the D6 Conference at the end of the week.

What's D6? Well, here's a link - you can go look for yourself a bit if ya wanna. I've never attended but am familiar with a few of the speakers and am therefore very excited about what I may encounter.

I have a growing passion to wake families up (mine included, anything I write on here can also be directed to myself). Wake them up to the responsibilities they have in building faith within themselves and their kids. It's a huge job, it's a hard job, and it's a very much forgotten job. Many families now rely on the church to do the job that God intended for the family. Many families look at the church as yet another "thing" they can sign their kids up for, similar to spanish lessons and soccer practices.

If we don't get this generation of parents comfortable and active in their role of spiritual leadership our nation will suffer for it phenomenally. Talk about wanting to change a nation - really can it happen with any success, any other way then tackling it first in the home?

Marriages are faltering

Parents are spreading thin

Kids are overcommited

Children are being raised by strangers

Education is left to the government

Materialism, social status, educational merit and athletic prowess all take priority over a relationship with God.

Parents are Scripturally illiterate

All of these factors are just the tip of the iceberg of problems that are facing our families today. Satan is having waaaayyyy too much success out there. It's time the church woke up. Bottomline.

But what can a children's minister do to motivate the body of Christ? I'm hoping this conference will have some ideas that might lead to answers that will fit our particular church at this time in it's life. It should be a great experience anyway.

I'll leave ya with two quotes from one of my favorite theologians, Ravi Zacharias...

The first comes from his book, "I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah"

"God designed marriage for union and communion. Adam and Eve had no mother or father to leave, but they were now to become father and mother and transfer the trust so that as God had made them separate yet one, marriage would continue from generation to generation.

This was the first home. This was the first family. From here, all of humanity emerged. The home was instituted before the Church was brought into being. May I underscore that God intended the home to the the seed from which culture flowers and history unfolds. It is not coincidental that a garden was the first setting for the first home."

The home is important, don't let Satan lie to you and convince you otherwise. Everything you do as husband and wife, as father and mother, has eternal consequences and very definite earthly ones as well. As Ravi said in one of his radio broadcasts, "Parents, we have within our homes those who could change nations; let us pour our lives into them."

I'll let ya know what I learn!

Better Than Branson

We went to Sams this morning. I'm not exactly sure what it is about Sams that make most every male fall in love with shopping, but my boys are no exception.

First mistake I made: I allowed the kids to dress themselves and go straight to the van without first seeing or approving their outfits. Avery - shorts with rubber work boots.... Huston - long sleeved shirt with mismatched shorts.... Isaiah - camo pants with huge holes in both knees. Lillie and I looked cute though.

Anyway, while we were there all the kids were mesmerized by all of the mechanical Halloween decorations. They drooled over the long row of movies and ooohed and ahhhhed over the huge bags of fruits and veggies we were loading into our cart.

As we were finishing up, Huston asked if Sams had a bathroom. I spotted it down the way from the check-out lanes and asked Isaiah to escort his brother to the bathroom as we checked out. They were in there for longer than usual. I finished checking out and had to wait a few minutes before they started back down the hall. They were both laughing and so excited. When the reached us they were talking at once...

"Mom, you should see that bathroom! It's better than Branson! It's the best bathroom I've ever seen... you know those potty things they have just for men? Well here it let's you pee on the floor!"

Amazing.

Well Then, You Had No Choice!

Last night we were all sitting in the living room watching a movie together. At some point Avery left and went to the "school room" which is right next door to the living room. All of a sudden Huston, who was sitting in the chair closest to the hallway to the school room, let out his signature blood curdling over reactive scream.

"What in the world happened??," I asked.

"Avery just poked me with a pencil!," he replied.

I did recall seeing in my peripheral vision someone running in and out of the room... I concluded that Avery must have just committed a run-by poking.

I called him to me. "Avery... did you poke Huston with a pencil?," I asked him in the serious yet understanding mommy voice.

"I got a pencil..." he started to stumble. "because, uhhhh.... Huston took out his pocket knife.... and uhhh, triedtokillme." The whole time he was speaking his little eyes were searching the back of his mind for a valid excuse for his behavior. And I guess this was the best he could do.

I laughed. out. loud. And then I sent him to his room. :)

I Don't Usually Do This

But I am going to tell you right now that you need to see the movie Inception. I seriously can't remember the last time I saw such an amazingly fun movie. It is so suspenseful. It is so brilliant. It is rather clean. It is a movie that will totally make you drop your jaw and wanna see it again. I don't think my tastes are that far off the norm that you won't enjoy it just as much as I did.

I can't even describe the plot so I'm not even gonna try. Just go see it. :)